Leverage Presents: Christmas for Thieves
by Sherann
Summary: So last Christmas on a train ride back from school I imagined how Christmas might look like in a conmen's crib. And it's not like Leverage didn't have Christmas specials but I wanted one for after the completion of the show. So here's a short story about thieves on Christmas… or should I say an unusual family on Christmas. Read it! All of it! You can finish it in an hour. Comment


The night before Christmas, and all through the house, Alec Hardison was yelling, "Elliot cut that out!" The two men were going at it, once again, and unfortunately it was only, half past ten.

Eliot Spencer wanted to watch the basketball game, nothing new. Hardison wanted to play video games, nothing new. So they played their game of tug-a-war for the screen while the apartment room slowly became accustomed to their screams.

"Lea! Tell him to give me the control!" Eliot demanded. "LEA!"

The one in which he was calling listened in on their annoying banter. Lea was just behind the sofa the two were fighting on helping Parker break her handstand record. Lea cheered on Parker as she turned red in the face sweating puddles. "C'mon Parker! C'mon Parker," Lea encouraged. She just loved saying her friend's name: 'Parker.' It was originally supposed to be a boy's name, but instead it was the name of a slender blonde woman with a hunger for the thrill. The room filled with their shouting:

"C'mon Parker!" Lea screamed.

Eliot commanding: "Hardison give me the remote!"

Lea screaming again: "C'mon Parker!"

Eliot yelling: "LEA!"

"Shut-up Eliot!" Parker finally shouted with a heavy grunt as she held her feet steady.

Lea loved this. She loved every minute of this. She had no idea that when she joined this group of conmen that it would be this fun, this normal.

Parker with her last gust of breath begged, "Lea can you please tell Eliot to shut-up!"

She nodded at her command, but had no intention of doing so. Listening to the back-and-forth had become her favorite hobby. Lea had been in burning buildings, speeding cars, she dived from skyscrapers, and traveled in submarines, but nothing compared to the thrill she was experiencing at the moment. The night before Christmas, the stolen tree was filled with stolen gifts. The Grinch had nothing on them. She hadn't been this happy since that time a Russian mob boss made her construct a system to create counterfeit money.

"LEA!" Eliot screamed again.

Oh my goodness! Lea couldn't get enough of his raspy deep voice shouting her name. Her heart raced and raced and raced like she was stuck in that garage with the ticking bomb again. Eliot Spencer, was built, heavy with muscles, with soft blue eyes which melted her heart like an internal hard drive she decrypted. He was beautiful, with his rugged scars and plush hands he used to choked the life out of many villainous men...

"LEA!"

This chant did not come from Eliot, but Parker who went tumbling down after so many minutes of being upright on her arms. The sight was quite funny, as Parker's face returned to its normal pale color. Lea laughed her regular awkward giggle, snorting and drooling out the side of her mouth. This enjoyment was broken when she heard the squeaking from Nate's chair.

Nate was in the dining room, most likely concocting some plot to take over the world, or... looking for a recipe for roast turkey. It didn't matter; she didn't want to disturb him. He was the leader of the pack, the one Parker, Hardison, and Eliot revered more than anyone else. Since she'd arrived she made sure to always be mindful and respectful of him.

The older gentleman Nathan Ford researched. He was looking for the best deals on trackers, while also looking for a replacement gun (he had to get another one of those). He didn't even know why he needed it. He was out of the game, retired, he didn't need weaponry-or so he thought... He couldn't tell Parker, Hardison and Eliot retirement was way harder than Sophie and him ever imagined. Yes, they were happily married and in love. But what did happily married and in love mean for him who made a living from perfectly crafting con-jobs and Sophie, who made a living on the run and assuming multiple identities? Was a white-picket fence in the country really their forever? If he was to be honest, they felt more at home being together in this cramped apartment for the Holidays than their just-purchased two story house.

Vacationing was a bore. Looking for furniture was nauseating and walks in the park did not always suffice. His wife and him fell in love all over again shoplifting Christmas gifts from the high-end stores and cutting down the tree from someone else's property; it was perfect. He wondered if he should just give up on rejoining normal society.

Nate's mind then went several places at once. First, listening to the sound of the kettle of water boiling, then the groaning of Parker, then the arguing of Eliot and Hardison, and last but not least, his wife Sophie. He could hear the sound of running water from her shower and anticipated the moment she would come down stairs. He couldn't wait… it wasn't just because she was the love of his life, but because they had news, Big News, for the people who occupied the apartment.

When the IPad froze for a half second his mind was once again consumed by this news. Nate found himself imagining the gathering of everyone, Sophie would tell them and he would hold her hand in agreement. Should they tell Lea?

Lea. She was a thick girl, beautiful, platinum hair with strings of blues and purples, crazy glasses, bubbly personality with a brain full of knowledge far passed her thirty years. He liked her. After hearing the stories of how she saved Hardison, Parker, and Eliot from countless disasters he already felt she was becoming a part of the family. The key word being 'becoming,' she wasn't a part of the family yet. She wasn't there when Eliot fired his gun for the first time in a decade, or when Hardison hacked a highly encrypted system in five minutes, or when Parker scaled that twenty story building with just two suction cups, or when… Oh no he was reminiscing again. Nate touched his cheeks and felt a proud grin forming; fear began to arise. He was thinking about Parker, Eliot, and Hardison like they were… like they... but they weren't… because…

"Fifty bucks! Fifty bucks Hardison, I'll pay you if you hand me the control!" Nate overheard Eliot's shouting. He thought how a sound like that seven years ago would have pissed him off. Back when he first was acquainted with these three individuals his patience ran thin for them and on top of that he used to be a crazed alcoholic. Now, it brought an unexplainable joy. Eliot, the man with the crooked scars on his back and legs, packed with muscle, was just everything to him, even though Nate refused to say. Every time Eliot and him connected he would do what no other sane person could do. He'd hug the trained assassin. As the years passed the embrace slowly shifted from being one of comradery to that of a relative. When Eliot arrived a couple days ago, Nate wrapped his arms around him, naturally, he rested his palm on Elliot's back pulling him closer. This time he found his face heading towards Eliot's cheek; he wanted to kiss him. When they first met the stone-eyed killer was just a weapon to him, now he was like a teddy bear with a heavy punch.

Alec Hardison, the man who hacked the White House's computer in his grandmother's basement, was everything to him. Yesterday evening while Hardison was unpacking his state of the art equipment he snatched off of some corrupt king Nate found himself rubbing the hacker's head. That's when he saw Alec pulling out three bottles of orange soda. Nate argued, "If you're staying here, no soda." Half way through his sentence he realized he was bossing a grown man around. It appeared Hardison didn't mind, he playfully rolled his eyes and then placed his sugary drinks in the nearby garbage. Nate began rubbing Hardison's head again. He imagined how stupid he looked, Alec was thirty-two years old and there he was rubbing his head.

Then there was Parker. Nate dropped her duffle bag into her room when she came. He expected to leave her to unpack. She was always much closer to Sophie because she was a girl, so he was ok with leaving her alone but then she uttered- "Wait!" He assumed she was going to say something crazy like, 'why do lasers look like dancing rainbows?' or 'why do the butterflies in my stomach go nuts when I jump out of a plane?' But instead, "Hardison and I broke up," jumped out of her mouth. She gazed at him straight, her innocent blue eyes lost and crestfallen. Nate's big brain said to tell her, "things like that happen." Then his brain said to retell the story how he and his first wife Maggie got divorced, ending the conversation with, "it's not that bad." Instead he went with his heart and began coddling her in his arms. She started to cry on his chest and what he predicted would only be three minutes turned into three hours. When Parker was done unloading on him he ushered her into the kitchen and broke out the fudge ice cream. That's when they turned on the nature channel and they ate a full canister of the frozen dessert. When Nate felt her falling asleep on his thigh, he tapped her awake and escorted her back to her room. "Put your bungee rope and your taser in the corner, and then it's off to bed." And she did exactly what he asked and went to sleep. Parker, the crazy girl who blew up her parents' home at seven, was everything to him.

As he hovered over the IPad, he again reminded himself that these were not his… not his…it was just too hard. He began to wonder if he would start wanting to kiss Lea on the cheek, rub her head and start feeding her ice cream. He would hope not, that would be too hard, too weird.

In the midst of his reflection, Sophie brushed his shoulder. He perked up when he saw her standing there in her burgundy satin pajamas; her ebony hair dripping with the scent of perfume leaving her face damp. "Are you ready to share the news dear?"

Nate knew his wife was nervous because she didn't bother teasing him with flirtatious banter like she always did when she entered the room. "You're happy?" He responded with a hint of surprise.

"You silly man," Sophie gently slapped the lower part of his arm. "Why Love, of course I'm happy." She sounded especially British when she said this.

Nate knew the woman he was communicating with, and it was not his wife Sophie. Whenever she felt nervous or misplaced she would revert to one of her many aliases to portray the emotion she couldn't express herself. The woman she was at the moment was Vonka, the happy housewife, or because she wasn't using her German accent she could probably be Seeley, the girl from the corner store coffee shop. It didn't matter who she was, the real Sophie was terrified and she was hoping that by revealing the news early it would make her adjust to reality more.

"How bout we hold off till midnight. Till Christmas." Nate didn't bother telling her what he observed about her expressions, instead he played along.

Sophie swung around in the seat beside him, she gazed passed him to the living room area where everyone else was. "My… they're all getting so big. They are making me feel old."

"Yeah…" Nate leaned against his propped up arm, he was then in the perfect position to see what she saw. "I'm telling you just a couple minutes ago it wasn't this perfect."

"Oh I know, I think everyone on this floor could hear the boys going at it. And for what? Some stupid game."

"Boys will be boys. It's best that they just work things out themselves, they wouldn't have wanted me to come over and take the remote away."

"I think Eliot is seriously sleep deprived and Alec is too hyper, he drinks too much of that orange soda-"

"No soda, I told him to throw it away once he got here."

"Then he's probably drinking grape."

"Then I don't know. Well, the fighting's over now."

They watched as Eliot ran down his scars with Lea.

"He likes this girl," Sophie immediately picked up. "Look at him, ' _this is from a sniper in Russia_ ,'" she imitated his voice, "' _and this one was from a raid in Pakistan_.'"

"No, wrong," Nate cut in. "That scar he's pointing at was from a knife fight in Moscow."

"I'm pretty sure it was from a raid in Pakistan."

"A knife fight in Moscow. I'm sure of it."

"Anyway," Sophie switched the subject, "I think he really likes her."

"I believe so," Nate agreed. "Now… did you talk to Parker about Hardison?"

"Yes, she's still very much in love with Hardison…"

"And Hardison is still very much in love with her. It's just the job has gotten to them and they're going through a rough patch."

"I hope so, I was really looking forward to… well…"

"What?" Nate questioned in anticipation.

"Well to their wedding. Helping Parker pick out a dress and getting the cake. I'm quite fond of cake. When I was undercover in Paris they had really good cake."

Nate squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. "That would be nice, but you know Parker, she's not into all… that stuff… the glamor…"

"I have to disagree with you there. Like anything, Parker just doesn't know how. She's been separated from her parents since eight and right after that Archie took her in and began training her to be a thief. Believe me when I say she wants to be married; the dress and heels, cake, she wants it."

"Unfortunately… sadly, Archie passed away, so he can't walk her down the aisle. Maybe Eliot, or even maybe you can probably do it."

"Yes… or you can do it." She flashed a look of hesitation at him. "... just because Hardison would maybe want Eliot to be-"

"His best man-"

"And me a woman walking her down the aisle. No Parker, Parker would want something traditional, like a man who she's known for a long time."

"In which, I would be perfect… for… I guess?"

"Yes." Sophie confirmed lovingly cupping his cheeks.

They continued to watch on holding one another's hands. They watched Parker as she tried to mount a handstand again; she only did so because she was trying to avoid talking with Hardison. Hardison who won the war of the remote sat tight staring at the television trying to prevent having to communicate with Parker. Lea and Eliot were off to the side unknowingly snuggling each other.

Nate and Sophie couldn't resist the smiles that were beginning to part their faces. Not taking the trip up North for the Holidays was the best decision they ever made, they couldn't think of any other place they rather be than in that apartment on Christmas Eve. The light was dim, and the room was cozy and now a spotlight was shining into the window. "Must be from a Christmas celebration," Sophie predicted. Then they heard a ruckus from outside the building growing louder.

Nate's mental siren went off and he rushed over to the window. Before he even got the chance to peer out he heard a boisterous voice call, "WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED!"

The quiet Christmas celebration was disturbed and everyone present jumped up from where they were and assumed their normal positions. Eliot's face of laughter converted to one of seriousness, his eyebrows lowering, his features all scrunching together angrily. Loosening up his knuckles he prepared to bash in faces and kick in guts. Hardison used his X-box control to take over the cameras and place all the needed feed on his phone. Lea gathered all equipment ensuring they would be able to disappear without being tracked. Parker removed her 'Fun-Day' T-shirt to reveal her slick elastic black uniform that was perfect for crawling through vents and flying out of windows. Nate and Sophie did what they did best, and prepared the game strategy. A year of retirement did not offset them in the slightest: "Parker, sweety, make sure you grab your harness," said Nate. "I need you to dive down the elevator shaft and score us a ride."

"YAY!" Parker shouted (she loved going down the elevator shaft).

"Oh and sweety," Nate called out to her again, "I need you to take Alec with you, it'll be quicker that way."

Hesitant about the idea, Hardison inched towards her and that's when Parker dragged him by the wrist to the door. "C'mon we don't have time to be awkward," she said to Hardison. He shook his head and agreed and they both disappeared out the door.

Eliot turned his attention to Nate wanting to receive his assignment.

"El, grab Lea," Nate instructed. "You'll meet up with Hardison and Parker on the bottom floor, take out any moving person that might hinder us, and if we are not there in time you know what to do."

"How are you guys planning on getting out?" Eliot questioned.

"Well most likely they aren't looking for us," Sophie commented.

"That's right, you two are retired, which means it was us who ruined Christmas," said Lea.

"We'll blend in and act like a couple coming back from the pool. Then we'll meet up with you guys on the bottom floor." Nate discussed. "Now Go!"

"Alright we're out," said Eliot. He took Lea by the arm and began heading to the door.

"Oh you guys!" Nate called and Lea and Eliot came to a complete halt.

Then both Nate and Sophie resounded, "BE CAREFUL!"

Eliot shook his head and rushed away.

While alone in the room the couple tried to understand why they had just said that. There was not much time for thought though, they could hear the sound of a thousand foot soldiers marching up the stairs; they had to fly. They removed their clothes while running and then snatched up some bathrobes on their way out. Thankfully, there were some discarded margarita glasses in the hall and the couple immediately picked them up. When the army men went jogging toward their abandoned room they pretended to be drunk lovers back from the pool. The hoax worked perfectly and when they were done playing it up they left out the back. Waiting outside the gate was a crappy maroon van with their names on it. They shoved their bodies into the backseat and then Hardison sped away. As the vehicle moved further and further away from the hotel they laughed hysterically at all the members of the police force scrambling around like headless chickens wondering where they had gone.

Nate pondered. His head was repeatedly hitting the back window and he was deathly cold because he was basically commando in a used white robe. He pondered if this was the true meaning of Christmas; stowing away in a van from the law with family. Then he thought, maybe that wasn't such a far off idea, even the Lord Jesus Christ was on the run his first day on Earth, and he invented the Holiday. When he mediated on that idea he lit up more, like the Christmas trees in the far off distance.

The team resorted to their final option. They drove into the driveway of a glamorous home, three stories, with lots of land. Nate led the group to the entrance and rang the bell.

The door swung open and standing before them was the gentlemen who owned the estate. Slouching his shoulders, the owner complained, "How did I know it was you?"

Nate simply smiled and patted the man on the shoulder before escorting his crew inside.

"I didn't give permission for you hooligans to enter…" The gentlemen shrugged his shoulders again.

"I don't think we need permission," Eliot said with his fist clenched.

Nate grinned at the thought of asking Sterling permission for anything. "Old friend… you have any food? We're a little hungry."

"From being on the run I suppose?" Sterling inquired.

"There's no need to suppose, I'm willing to guess that we're top story." Nate chuckled profusely.

Sterling led them all to the grand living room with the open fire. There the rest of the team was united with Sterling's first guest-Tara. "What on Earth are you doing here?!" Sophie said in shock when she saw her old Grifter-buddy as snug as bug in a knitted sweater with cocoa in her grasp.

Tara laughed. "Is that anyway to greet your best friend? Lol, I was trying to pick the lock of Sterling's wife's convertible to use it as getaway car-"

"You mean steal it," Sophie said astounded.

"Obviously," Tara sighed.

"How could you?! That's Nate's Ex! You don't steal from family."

"Honest mistake. It's all good now; Maggie recognized me before I pulled off in her ride and invited me back for dinner… and what not."

"You're supposed to be halfway around the world."

"Ok mom!"

They continued to chat it up while everyone else had at the cookies.

Nate, instead, stood by Sterling overseeing the activities. There they stood like two God-figures on the outskirts taking in valuable mannerisms and assessing the joyous situation like a chess match.

"Sterling I have to give it to you," Nate started, knocking his old pal/ foe on the back. "You're the only US Senator with a boat load of criminals in your house."

"You're so full of jokes Ford." Sterling said with a stoic face. "And for your information I know a lot of officials who house crooks, they just don't know it yet."

"I'm glad you know that. And thank you."

"Merry Christmas Nate."

Their relationship went back so far that it was possible they could write a book of their standings throughout the years. Starting off as sworn enemies, they spent most of their relationship at each other's throat, one trying to overtake the other. Then the dust settled and they realized there was no need to change the other or even to be enemies. The official end to the conflict was when Sterling married Nate's former wife, Maggie. It was in that moment of Nathan Ford walking Maggie down the aisle that the white flag was waved.

"Where is she?" Nate questioned.

"Upstairs." Sterling shifted his eyes to the second floor. As soon as Nate looked up, there Maggie was walking down in all white. She looked gorgeous, like a Christmas angel. A sweet smile pierced her face as she glided down the steps. As she approached them, Nate desperately wanted to know what she was thinking. There she was staring down at two men, one her current husband, the other her former. He wondered if she knew it would come to this. Comically, he compared himself to Sterling. _At least I still have all my hair._

"Merry Christmas Nate," Maggie planted a kiss on his cheek. "What brings you and the gang here?" She obviously heard the commotion from when they walked in.

"I'm going to set the table," Sterling informed and then he was off allowing Nate and Maggie to catch up.

They stood beside one another watching Sterling set the table for a full on feast. "I still can't believe you married that guy," Nate joked.

"You should be the last one talking. You just found out Sophie's real name a year ago." Maggie teased.

The conman laughed. "That's fair." He again just found himself staring at the room of people and Maggie stared with him. Everyone else was around the coffee table talking about the heist while stuffing their faces with the gingerbread cookies. He loved, just loved, seeing the enjoyment on their faces and in their eyes.

"When we were married did you ever think this would be our lives?" Nate questioned.

Maggie laughed.

"I'm serious," he smiled back at her.

"Do you mean did I think our only son was gonna die? Did I think that shortly after we would get a divorce? Did I think you would become the most sought after conman in the world? Did I think you would marry a Grifter who's made her living swindling rich men out of their art? Did I think I would marry your co-worker and your long time rival?" She chuckled. "I'm smart, but not even I could have predicted this."

The two watched how Sophie scurried away from the table, her hand covering her mouth, most likely rushing to the restroom from sickness.

"She's pregnant isn't she?" Maggie guessed.

Nate nodded "yes."

"What big news." She said. "But you don't look excited."

Nate continued looking forward, his hands digging into his pockets nervously. "I don't think I know how to be a good father."

Maggie looked on him with bewilderment. "Do you know who you're talking to?"

"I know I was a good father to Sam, but that was ages ago. He was only eight when he passed; I had barely gotten the hang of being a parent when he died. Back then, I was a different guy. When I was with you I was a different guy-"

"I'm not talking about Sam. I'm talking about now. Yes, you've changed, went a little nuts with the occupation choice, but you haven't changed that much. Those three, and I'm going to go ahead and count the new girl, adore you. I'm going to say that God sent you and Sophie to them, to shepherd them, to love them, because their criminals and nobody else will."

"But I can't be-because you know-"

"And why?"

"They're you know, they're…"

"They're what? Too old?"

"No, no, no…"

"Too young?"

"No."

"Then what is it Mr. Ford."

"They're too dangerous. They chase after bad guys and jump from buildings…"

"Oh they sound just like their parents; Nate and Sophie. Don't withhold your love from them just because you feel like you're going to lose them like Sam. Don't withhold it from them and don't withhold it from this baby that you're having. Just because you're not the ordinary guy you use to be doesn't mean that this child is not going to be brought into the best family."

As she spoke Nate's spirits began to rise.

Maggie continued. "I think you're one of the best men I have ever known, Nathan Ford, and I'm so happy that that opinion of you hasn't changed even though we moved on. I know this year Sam was supposed to be fifteen and if he had survived it would have been just us three here. But I'm happy things happened the way they did. I sometimes imagine myself in heaven reading to him: 'the night before Christmas and all through the house you would have never guessed how mommy and daddy turned out. Though, not together, but never apart it doesn't matter how the years go by you will always have our hearts. Daddy steals for fun, always on the run; he has a daughter and two sons. His wife's name is Sophie, and they travel far and wide, stealing portraits in their secret disguise. If you're wondering about me, I'm as happy as can be, I'm married to a nice guy and his name is Sterling. So the night before Christmas, me and daddy looked, thinking that we totally went off book, I know you'd be happy that we became crooks."


End file.
